Tube nation...TB station.

PART 2

Monday blues were as blue can be....blue skies once again-sorry did someone say London had bad weather?Perfect day....hot n sweaty. Apparently this is a rarity, either that or Londoners all suffer from a disease that makes one intolerable to any temperatures above 21 degrees....but I'll get back to my diagnosis and how it came about shortly.

So I've heard time and time again about this Primark phenomenon and thought I must give it a jolly good go, but no one warned me that it would very closely resemble Victoria Street Market(DBN) on pay day....thanks peeps, you left me unprepared both mentally and physically for what I was about to encounter. Walking into that triple story mountain of clothes was everything but a shoppers dream. Yes, there are many items to choose from. Great. Yes, they are cheap. Great. No, I do not want my personal space to be invaded, and yes I would like more than half a square meter to move around in, thank you for asking. Fail. Aren't there laws that prevent more than 10 000 people from being in a building with only 2 exits (yes I checked out my fire escape routes on entering)?

There were literally people stripping in front of any mirror or reflective glass they could find.Literally. The line to the change rooms was half way around oxford street, its like a shoplifters paradise. After grabbing a few items....and joining the masses in the reflective glass make-shift change rooms-Yes, I did that- I just wanted to get the heck out of there. Grabbing+rushing to get the heck out of there = Definitely walking out with the wrong something.Which I did. I am still trying to muster up the courage to go back and change it, what if there really is a fire this time?

Following my shopping ordeal I made my way to Oxford Circus Station where I thought I could sit on the train ride home and talk myself through my post-traumatic stress, oh did I mention that by this time it was rush hour in tube nation? Giant Fail. Now I was faced with what I would consider to be a life changing decision at this point, I came to a cross road in my life and decided that a decision needed to be made and that me, being very decisive under pressure(Hello future employee reading my blog, look forward to hearing from you), could make it-To go all the way to Brixton station and change trains there (and risk being hustled by a pimp and his pimp hussies-is that the right lingo?) or stop at Victoria(Before Brixton) and change to a nice train. So I make the life changing decision and FAIL FAIL FAIL!

I decided to get of at Victoria and swap trains there, joining the rest of London in one cabin. The incoming train was delayed due to signal problems at Herne Hill(where I was going), so that should have hit the warning bells, not these ones, no no no, I carried on waiting. The train arrives 15 minutes late and I hop on, expecting to be home in 15 minutes.....lovely, its been a long day and I'm hungry, thirsty and tired. All is going as planned on my routine journey home until after we've stopped at Brixton and are half way between 2 stations(one of them being my destination) the train comes to a halt. "Apologies ladies and gentlemen, there are still signalling problems at Herne Hill and there are trains waiting to come through from all directions so I'm not sure how long we'll be in the queue"....Really? Now keep in mind that it is rush hour-you are standing rubbing up against all kinds of people ( I mean, I'm usually reasonably selective, but in rush hour you have no choice), there are no doors and only tiny little silly excuses for windows by the roof and it is the hottest day in British history ( well, since I've been there). Enter diagnosis 'Britons have heat disability disorder'. Every train I'd been on that day had issued warnings about the heat, asking passengers to please ensure they had water with them at all times which I thought to be a bit melodramatic considering humans can live without water for something like 3 days. So anyway, the train is stopped, people are dripping sweat all over me, I am thirsty because humans can live without water so I ignored the warnings AND I am at high risk for catching TB considering I was basically breathing in someone Else's lung material-that's the closeness I'm talking. OK so TB encounter No.1. Then after 40mins of being at a dead stop in an airless, conversation-less (I had to save my energy in case we were there for days-hence not starting random conversations or group songs) cabin that jolly conductor comes over the intercom and starts singing "The wheels on the bus...", no that's a lie, he didn't. He came on to tell us that some tool in another cabin who obviously had heat disability disorder pulled the emergency lever on the doors and opened them, which meant that the power supply to the rails had to be shut down in case the retard slipped on sweat and fell out onto the rails. This resulted in the train being stopped for a further 45minutes!

Summary: I sat on a train for an hour and a half in the heat, with no air, at rush hour and nearly died.

Skip to Wednesday, my interview was set for 8:45, so I thought I'd pre-empt any further train drama's and arrive an hour early. I can now safely tell you that there is not much to do in the early hours of the morning on Great Portland Street. More importantly, on that early morning train ride I was sitting in close proximity to an oldish woman; she was facing me and clutching a handful of tissues. So, I thought shame, she must be very sad or very sick. Wrong on both accounts. This woman broke out into about 40 coughing fits and after each one checked the tissue. Now I am on high alert. TB alarms going off everywhere. I covered my mouth with my scarf and tried not to breathe the rest of the way. Mom, if you're reading this, could you check with Doc how likely it is that I could get TB on the train?

Following my interview, I had my corporate kit on, glasses, dress, stockings the works...oh did I mention the heels?let me illustrate.

Exhibit A.

So I met Karene on Oxford Street to De-stress with a cuppa at a little side walk cafe, which just so happened to be opposite Liberty. Have you ever, cos I've never? I was blown away. 5 floors of sheer class and perfection in the form of designer scarves, hats, shoes, clothes, vintage dress-up, bridal couture, haberdashery, furniture and personal care products. I may have squealed upon entry....do yourself a favor, browse this little number http://www.liberty.co.uk/ . Crying.

So 5 floors browsed in heels, I'm fine, thank you for asking.....next stop; The opposite end of Oxford Street-Selfridges. at this point my high heel etiquette starts getting stroppy, back starts curving, bum sticks out....start doing the stork walk, you girls(and one or two boys) know how it is. Selfridges is a wonder room(5 floors again) of designer everything....I mean every brand you could ever think to imagine in the history of lavish brands is housed in that vault. It is basically a museum of the best designer wear ever. By the time we walked out of there I wanted to take my shoes off and walk on my stockings....don't talk to me about pain until you've walked Oxford Street in my shoes people.

Now that I am partly disabled, a brand whore and probably have TB, think its time for a small weekend on the town.....Who's ready?

I'm gonna ge' me an accen'

PART 1

Before I suck you into my little London bubble, I must apologise for the delay in updates...Unfortunately due to the fact a) I am currently unemployed and therefor have to spend my free time(that is the time when I am not actively seeking employment) picking up litter, as one kind street sweeper was kind enough to delegate his work load to help out a sister; and b) I am trying to make friends, which involves hours of online companion seeking and tube surfing(Not the hectic kind, just the kind where I sit on trains all day going back and forth looking for likely friends), I have had limited time. It is because of the above mentioned circumstances that I have been unable to blog every hour. Apology accepted? Super, moving swiftly along.

Where to start.....
Ah, last Friday I hit it lucky when an interview with a recruitment agency for a job that I did not see myself as being the ideal candidate for turned into a new job interview for a different position at an awesome company yesterday. That said....I cannot discuss the logistics of yesterday's interview in case my future employees find amusement in checking out candidates' blogs (Hi There, great interview...look forward to hearing from you). I have not yet heard the outcome of yesterday's interview yet and am still holding thumbs. What I can say though, is that it was for a global company with a superior reputation in out of Home media with incredible career growth opportunities and an awesome chance to learn the In's and outs of media while being closely involved with some pretty major brands- this is one I really would love to get. I am still, however on the job hunt as one can never be too sure and street sweeping, although pays bills, doesn't look good on one's CV unless under the community service section.

Job hunt aside, lets move onto the next bottle of wine...
Saturday a good friend of mine from Dirtbin touched down London Town and was looking for a little welcoming procession, I willingly obliged..Had some pre-drinks at her brother's place in Maide Vale and then headed down/up/east/west someway to Paradise Bar http://theparadise.co.uk/ in a sweet line of black cabs....yes that's how I roll now because quote, unquote "Life's too short to take the night bus". Michael Simpson. Crazy awesome night....almost hit a hiccup when a little gremlin of a boy called me a giant, look I was wearing High heels, but hows about he did us all a favour and left his short man syndrome at home,yeah?I could've made him cry-I'm sure of it, but I blew him a kiss instead, thought it was a step in the right direction, maybe he just needed some love after all. Met some crazy cool people, shared a little wiggle, step-ball-change, wiggle with them (little dance move I've mastered) and then was escorted home again, I believe, in another Black Cab (Back home, these'd pass as Rolls Royce's).

Sunday was an epic day, I say this not as a hyperbole, but rather because I believe it to be true. Blue Skies, not a cloud to be seen and about 30 degrees in the shade (it is entirely possible that this fact has been slightly exaggerated for dramatic effect)....Michael Las Tour Guide, took Karene out for a leisurely breakfast...little eggs Benedict and a latte there, followed by a walk round Regent's park to check out The London Business School(Checking out the grounds I'll be strolling upon when I enrol for my MBA), had a squiz at a very average looking home worth a sloppy 100 million...POUNDS! The gentle(rich) man who owns it also owns ArcelorMittal (Steel)..fun fact for the day-go tell people! We then meandered down/up/left/right (still working on getting a lay of the land) to Edinboro Castle pub http://www.edinborocastlepub.co.uk/ for a "li'l jug o Pimms wif strawbewwies init'"...Delish Nutrish, nothing like fruity Pimms on a warm Sunday afternoon. I could've sat there all day watching people...WOW is all I can say-I mean did you really walk out of the house wearing that knowing you were going into public?'Av you looked in the mirror?..Again, not judging, merely observing!...But alas, I didn't stay there, I moved on to more interesting people watching terrain, where you have to be very quiet, and move very slowly as any loud or fast movements could awaken the animals......of CAMDEN TOWN.
The three of us pub hopped the rest of the afternoon....what a day. Oh wait, my day wouldn't have been complete without my Cyberdog experience...this store in Camden Town is 3 stories of neon lights and rave. I have never seen clothes like this in my entire existence, I thought rave was a type of music not an underwear collection/adult shop/Clothing designed by martians-it takes the matrix stores to a whole nother(is that a word?) level...check out the stuff http://shop.cyberdog.net/ pretty crazy that people actually buy it, AND THEN WEAR IT.

After my weekend of Mayhem I was pretty bushed, but that didn't put an end to my missioning....PART 2 coming soon (in a few minutes-I just need to rest my typing hand).

Beauty is in the (London) eye of the beer holder...

So just a quick moan about my Monday before we get onto Tuesday's festivities....If you are planning a trip to London any time in the near or far future, bring an SA - UK adaptor. When I initially realised my laptop plug didn't fit into the silly little rectangular holes they use here (no matter which way I tried),I thought "No Claire, don't you worry now child, there will surely be ONE SA to UK adaptor in the whole of London,". WRONG! Not one; I walked up and down the streets of The South African Village(otherwise known as Wimbledon) for a solid 5 hours interrogating every store owner about their knowledge of South African plugs and found nothing. They have every other adaptor except South African! Cut a long moan short, I had to skillfully cut the plug off my lappie and get my handy man on and put a new silly rectangular looking one one....doesn't look nearly as classy, but life must go on.

Moving onto Tuesday's festival of wines. 1 x early, chilled lunch in Wimbledon Village with a good school friend of mine (Nicola Stanley), turned into 3 x bottles of wine and a turkey burger. This sparked off an interesting domino effect, as one bottle of wine hit the system...so another followed, and another...and so on until they all fell down. No it was no so quick and painless unfortunately. Rather than what one sensible individual may have done- go home, wash one's face, brush one's teeth and tuck oneself into one's bed- I moved on from lunch/afternoon drinks to Waterloo station to meet some R&Y's-Claire and Dina.....enter the end of me.

Drinks at All Bar One beneath the London Eye started out with lots of catching up, and swapping job advice...a few recruiters details(well I did all the taking, no giving...so no swapping from my side), and gradually turned into something quite spectacular. In fact what we all got out of the evening was 1 x Business plan (wheels in motion-watch this space....and your backs), 500km's to walk home(felt like it anyway....zigzags are inefficient when walking home), 3 x harrowing changes on the transport system in rush hour the following morning and 2 x members experiencing low blood sugar resulting in fainting on the morning rush hour transport system. Super.Best night ever. Lets do it again.Or not.

Cut to Thursday (I have erased the memories of yesterday's porridge brain).
Began the ever daunting Job hunt, which ended in success, 1 interview with a recruiting agent tomorrow.Tick. Hopefully a few more to follow, keep your fingers and noses crossed. I've got a good feeling about this folks, somethings on the horizon and I'm about to grab hold of those reigns and kick it into motion...keep following the ride.
(If all else fails, Ive still got the option of that boerie proudly South African food stall in Camden-Huge window of opportunity there).

Tie-dye's whack...Doc Martin's are back!

For those of you who thought you were in the know about what's hot and what should be shot...you ought to take a trip down to Camden Town, anything that didn't go before goes now...Trinny and Susanna(What not to wear) would both have had minor aneurysms. What an incredible experience though, if every bus/train service had gone on strike for the day I would have been more than happy to have been stuck there. It's the most incredible place to people watch; I wouldn't call what I did judging, I'd define it as observing!

Amongst the crazy hus and bus on the streets are rows and rows of stores....some pretty amazing, and the other 300-all side by side, have identical clothing-IDENTICAL!At one point you'd swear that it was an entire road taken up by one store with multiple entries-not just any store at that; The Matrix store. If you believed that the matrix was real, you might swear that every shop owner bought their merchandise from straight out of the world of zero's and one's. If leather jacket season excited you this winter....you'd be in your element-ankle length leather jackets, dress-style leather jackets, shiny cat-suit style leather jackets....I'd assume that the sole purpose for these items in the stores are for hire for matrix or Grandma's boy dress-up parties.

After every long row of shops, and just when you think you've seen it all (you saw it all in the first store) you turn a corner to see a market twice the size of the one you've just walked through, and there are another 2 just like it down the road. It's not the stores though that make this place deliciously nutritious for the eye-ball, its the people...I felt like I should have dressed up for the occasion. Not your typical Sunday best......some closer to their birthday suits than anything else. But enough about the people....all I'm saying is that Heat mag know's nothing about the look of the week. Here's a little something something for the heat though-the items I fell in love with and chose to buy instead of meals for the next week....

My beautious rosy skirt and tapestry curtain dress...

Moving along...the main street lacks in flavoursome food, but a little hunt for lunch lead us down an alley way filled with little kiosks/stalls all tightly packed together like cattle in a truck, or like kulula first class...well I've never. There was Indian followed by Thai, Mexican, Persian, Malaysian, Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, american....italian...and and and. It's like hangover munchies central. Where do you even start? One stall that was lacking was a proudly South African Boerie bar, so I'm keeping that in mind in case the job hunt starts off slow-look, lets not judge, here's a window of opportunity and I'm seriously considering taking it! If someone could kindly please point me toward a good boerie recipe, I'd cut you in on the profits. I called a friend, asked the audience and finally settled on a Thai mix and a Mexican Fajita....dam Africa you missed out.

I am enlightened after my little trip up north, and all the more wiser for it...I have now started wearing purple leggings under red shorts with doc Martins and a wonderbra as my shirt under my pleather jacket..unashamedly (as all things should be done).

Just touched down in London Town...this is how we like to get down.

D-day arrived before I even had time to get my London countdown advent calendar up on the wall. No tears, no mess, no fuss.....so here I am, although I'm so far from home but I'd be lying if I said I felt far away. My little visit to Joe Kool's last night certainly made me feel at home.....who would've thunk it, Joe Kool's in the middle of Putney?...I may as well have been at Joe's in Dbn,or Tiger in CT....not a Pom accent anywhere, just the rowdy recognisable South African slang, even the bouncers and barmen are South African, only difference is that the bar closed at 1!Yip you heard me...1!!!!!How ridic?No more 5am mornings on the D-floor for me, you could actually go out every night of the week here and still wake up fresh for work the next morning-that might've been useful to a few of us RandY's!

First night in London.Success.tick.
Nick had arranged a little surprise welcome gathering at a pub in Wimbledon, I nearly had a stroke slash small child when I unexpectedly saw Nicola Stanley, Melissa Moon and Sandi Touzel...couldn't have asked for more really! Thank you Nick...too spesh.Suburban's half price cocktail's were followed by the above mentioned razzle at Joe's.....and then some mid night madness at KFC and what felt like an hour long bus trip home. It's not all fun and games when an hour on the night bus at 1 am is followed by a half an hour walk from the bus stop back home ( I may be over exaggerating but my feet will swear its true). It's a small world this....while on my walk to the station after last night some guy(who I thought was some one completely different) called my name from the side of the street and runs up to me and gives me a huge hug and tells me how long its been and that its so great to see me ( at this stage I'm still grabbing at straws trying to get him to at least hint where I might know him from or at his name), I eventually manage to get him to mention that I met him in Sun City about 3 or 4 years ago...still didn't help, then his friend called him Jason. Nope. Got nothing. He looks familiar but I cannot for the life of me place him....anyway apparently I made an impression, How'd he recognise me let alone remember my name?....To do list: make a new friend on the streets of London at 1am in the morning.Tick.

I'm staying in Herne Hill, a really cute little village (almost) with Nick, its pretty close to everything (I think), I have no concept of time or direction here(whats new on the direction part?) buses and trains all have crazy numbers that you have to remember and you have to learn routes and changes etc...hoping it'll be like riding a bike when I get the hang of it(pity there aren't fairy wheels for that type of thing).

For those of you Old Biscuit Mill die-hards (Caity and Luc); it ain't got nothing on the market I went to this morning. Spent the most part of morning/lunch time at the Borough Market at London Bridge.....well,I've NEVER! This market is massive and there is literally broccoli and herbs growing out of the ground, it wouldn't be a surprise to find yourself tripping over a boulder sized wheel of cheese. There are the most incredible food stores there; wraps, roasts,prawns, sausages......liquorice all sorts! It took about an hour to get around the market the first time, followed by another loop to decide what was for lunch.....if I had the money I would have had one of everything and stayed there until tomorrow eating. I eventually settled on a yummy steak Bap and rolled out on my belly.

Checked out London Bridge, did some shopping....not what you think unfortunately, just some shampoo and conditioner. Oh, and some oats. Ended off the day with an incredible Brit meal-little yorkie pud,beef bristle and some veg soaked in gravy and topped with salsa Verde-Divs!(thanks Athene and Rors) ....in case you feel like having an around the world night try out the sneaky little recipes hiding down below.

Tomorrow's agenda.....thinking a trip down/up to Camden Market is in order and a visit to primark (its 4 degrees here,I seriously need warmer clothes- left the airport thinking blue skies and sunshine meant warmth, well the chill bit me where it hurts, but nothing that some thermals and a shopping spree can't fix).

Missing everyone at home, wish you were all here.

x