Tuesday 22 June 2010

Thoughts on things that have been thunk:

On the weather:
There are not 4 seasons in this city....the weather man lets you think this so that he keeps his research hours to a minimum, the TV channels let you think this so they keep what is usually an not so attractive weather man on air for as short as possible(bar Derick Van Dam-I would) and the papers keep their weather section short so there is more room to sell advertising space....its a cut throat world out there and one can't just be taking things at face value, there is usually not much value in face value anyhow. Let me enlighten you, although I too would like to leave space to sell advertising; There are in fact 4 seasons and an additional x amount ( x= the number of tube and train lines in the London borough). I walk out of the house in the morning and begin my 6min38sec waddle to the bus stop freezing-usually adorned in a jersey and a coat as well as stockings. Yes, people tell me everyday that I will die in winter, how kind....it is falling on deaf ears, I do not want to acknowledge an early death due to freezing. Once at the bus stop I hop on a bus for a 7-10minute trip to the station where I am cuddles up to the nastiest ginger in sight.....never a belter, although I always try stand behind one in the queue in the hopes that we might have to cuddle as they try to fit 200 people onto a 60 seater bus. Things begin to heat up....and no its not what you think-if you're looking for PG stuff you've come to the wrong place my gran reads this), it merely gets a little warmer due to the sheer amount of morning breath gathering in a small, enclosed area sans ventilation.Time for the train from Clapham Junction station to Waterloo- at which point I usually try and strip off one layer ( I try to start with the coat-taking off stockings on a train is awkward). All this while I am preparing for the steamiest sauna on earth, think Dubai in summer....enter Bakerloo line from waterloo station, my longest trip. Apparently the Bakerloo line averages 33 degrees daily. Kiff. I may as well never have showered, or washed and straightened my hair or put any clothes on at all. If I was dramatic I can safely say that I would suffer from heat exhaustion and chronic fainting syndrome on a daily basis. Then back into the chilly air of my final destination ( which is Paddington by the way). It doesn't stop there though, I walk into my office where blizzard visuals may as well be showing in 3-D on the TV screens in the office. My point here is that throughout an hour long journey to work, I experience multiple weather conditions of which I have not been forewarned, had the weather man played any sport in school and made it out of the whatever lab does weather he might've been more active in doing more thorough research. I general though, on an average day, there is usually some sun with blue skies, a gust of wind, black clouds and then rain, don't bother trying to dress according to the weather, just don't even bother.

On runny noses:
I always have one.

On doing grocery shopping:
Probably the biggest hack of my entire life. Love catching a bus with 50kg's worth of groceries and then having to walk like 2k's home with them.

On wearing trainers to get to work:
Don't do this. It's uncool, wrong and an insult to all the people who make nice shoes....and clothes for that matter, an sassy little dress looks like tennis kit when paired with trainers.

On airtime:
Don't bother smsing me, I won't reply. No-one is worth my dinner, and that is basically what it costs me to use mobile telephones these days.

On my job:
First week was awesome, I'm working in a great team-all of whom have a fantastic sense of humour/ I am learning the ropes and how to tug at the right ones very quickly. I have my own telephone with my own voicemail, and 3 pens of my own as well as a company diary. This excites me.

On new friends:
Under construction.

On London kids:
If I hear another one saying the F word or see another one pulling a zap at me, I am going to start a petition for population control in this country.(I'm talking 3 years old type kids).Sis.

On Tea:
It is like England in a cup. and they call it a brew here.

On updating my blog:
I will be better at it in future, unfortunately daylight savings does not in fact make your day 25 hours long contrary to reports.

I have recently received some fan mail which I will post upon my next blog update. I have fans.

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